X Factor 2010: Week Six Live Show (Elton John)
Nov 13th
Elton John recently branded TV talent shows “boring, arse-paralysingly brain crippling”, so it makes perfect sense for this week’s theme to be “Elton John”. I fear the X Factor is trying to be subversive, when really they should leave self-referential irony in the capable hands of “sod it” Katie Waissel. There’ll be more on self-referential irony later…
What we all really need to be focusing on tonight is whichever contestant sings “Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word”. As Leona Lewis and Joe McElderry can attest to, whoever sings this song will definitely win. It’s this level of insight that demonstrates to my Literary Agent Flatmate that she needs to get a bloody move on and approach me to write (as yet unspecified but definitely commercially viable) books on popular culture.
X Factor: Week Five (Results). American Anthems.
Nov 7th
20.00: So here I am, simultaneously trying to eat tuna pasta, solve a Twitter crisis and Live Blog. The Boyfriend is looking at his laptop nervously as I try to hide the bits of pasta jammed between the keys. Read the rest of this entry »
X Factor 2010: Week Five (Live Show). American Anthems.
Nov 7th
Excitingly, I went out last night. This means that the Blog embarrassingly stumbles in with a post about 24 hours late, a bit like Chloe at Bootcamp. Incidentally, does everyone remember Chloe? Forget Gamu, just *think* how amazing Chloe would be on the live shows right now.
The problem is, I’ve found an episode of Come Dine With Me on More4 and one of the people on it is currently wearing a guitar on her head, which makes for pretty compulsive viewing by anyone’s standards. So this is a short post, cobbled quickly together by cutting and posting the thoughts I had on Twitter as I watched the show a couple of hours ago. Read the rest of this entry »
X Factor 2010: Week Four (Results Show). Halloween.
Oct 31st
19.45: Whilst we wait with anticipation for week four’s X Factor Result’s Show, let us all take this time to marvel at the pumpkin I carved earlier. In X Factor terms, I feel it’s closer to a Cher “Stay” (from now on the marker of something amazing) than a Belle Amie “Stand By Me” (less good). My equivalent of Simon Cowell (The Boyfriend) deemed it “good”, whereas my friends and family (my mum) texted “that’s amazing! wow” when I sent her the picture message. Read the rest of this entry »
X Factor 2010: week…what week are we on now? Oh yes, week four. Halloween.
Oct 30th
19.30: And we’re back for another session of ABNQ Live Blogging.* Today, I have been truly living and breathing the X Factor, spending most of my day giving 110% to the new X Factor wii game. It’s given me an enormous empathy with the contestants. Personally, I had an awful week four, attempting an ill-advised ropey performance of Mariah’s “Always Be My Baby”. Simon went as far as to say it was a disaster. But fear not contestants, I got through, dyed my hair blonde and came back in week five with a world class interpretation of Blondie’s “Call Me”. So there’s hope for you all.
19.33: Except for maybe you, Belle Amie. Sorry.
The Apprentice 2010: Week Four
Oct 27th
After last week’s storming success (no comments; not many hits; Ginger-Ex-Flatmate still thinks it was written by someone else entirely), we’re back with another super-awesome installment of ABNQ-Liveblogging. Would-be entrepreneurs of Britain, give it your best 120%.
X Factor 2010: Week Three (Results Show). Guilty Pleasures.
Oct 24th
19.40: Hello Internet Following. This is my first ever attempt at Live Blogging the X Factor. I am fraught with the pressure of having to be funny without having 30 minutes to think.
X Factor 2010: Week Three (The Live Show). Guilty Pleasures.
Oct 23rd
We begin and – I’m sorry – why has no-one explained the Guilty Pleasure theme? How will the voters understand that when each act performs something abysmal that they are actually being self-reflectively ironic? It quickly becomes apparent that some of the contestants are being forced to do hideous, embarrassing songs and others are not. (If I was 14 years old and had access to a forum I would be creating a thread entitled “Sabotage!!!” right now.)
And poor Elton John. They are trying to make everyone hate him instead of Katie, in the way that they tried to blame Sting for everything that went wrong last year. Evil or not, Katie is by far the best thing about this show and in honour of Katie, I am quoting her (very amusing) fake Twitter alter ego’s thoughts on each and every performance in the blog tonight. Read the rest of this entry »
X Factor 2010: Week Three Preview. Guilty Pleasures
Oct 22nd
This week, I am so determined to get a book deal that I am going to blog THREE times. This is a desperate attempt to persuade my Literary Agent Flatmate that I would over-deliver as an author. I long to spend my days in an oversized hoody in Starbucks writing things on my apple mac. If I mention apple mac, and commit to mentioning apple mac once in every blog post, there is a high chance that Apple will send me a free mac through the post. Or that Cadburys will send me free chocolate. Cadburys. Read the rest of this entry »
The Apprentice 2010: Week Three
Oct 20th
So, the almost-but-not-quite-live blogging bug has bit and now, frankly, there’s no TV show I want to leave unalmost-but-not-quite-liveblogged. Embarrassingly on my Apprentice ABNQ-Liveblogging Debut, I’m coming into the show 13 minutes late for reasons I don’t quite understand. But I have this feeling that a stylish mix of editing, music and Nick will make crystal clear in no time the good, bad and ugly of this week’s episode… Read the rest of this entry »
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