…that’d be OK”.* At least it seems that way in pop music nowadays. Last year’s X Factor winner Joe Mcelderry has come out to, well, minimal shock or horror and no suggestion that a helpline need be set up. Whilst in 2010 gay male popstars aren’t in short supply, Joe should be recognised and applauded for pushing at least one boundary: at 19, he may well be the youngest ever popstar to out himself to the entire nation.

Thankfully in 2010, there’s very little suggestion that Joe’s sexuality might negatively affect his musical career and countless examples to prove it won’t (Boyzone, Westlife, The Feeling, Scissor Sisters). Lucky Joe is also walking in someone else’s footsteps: almost eight years earlier Will Young traversed an almost identical path. Realty TV shows like Pop Idol give record companies less say over the artists they must take on; and, back in 2002, when Will Young won the first ever Pop Idol, his record company happened to get a gay winner. Like Joe, Will was a pioneer in that he came out at the beginning of what’s proven to be a multi-million selling pop career.

Will was out, but in early interviews was always reluctant to discuss his private life. To quote his News Of The World coming out article:

“I don’t wish to talk about it any further and I hope that people will respect that as my private life is my private life […] I’ve always been discreet… I’m not a campaigner when it comes to my sexuality”.

And fair enough: no-one should either feel forced to talk about their sexuality or to keep quiet about it. But, I couldn’t help but feel slightly sad at these comments. The implication is that it’s OK to be gay, but it’s something very private and it’s better not to talk about the details. Growing up, what I really wanted was a gay popstar who was willing to talk – and occasionally sing – about being gay.

And the “sing about it” is where it gets interesting (I promise), in that being gay creates a tension for a popstar. At the core of this career choice is the need to sing about your love life very, well, publically. And whilst songs – particularly in pop – don’t need to be autobiographical, if you want to be a vaguely credible artist there’s the need for *some* illusion that you are singing from experience.

Which leads me to nicely to the point of this blog post: in 2010 it is OK to be a gay popstar, but it’s still not that OK to sing about it. I can hardly think of a mainstream pop song, sung by a man, explicitly to another man.

And you say: it shouldn’t really matter if there is a gender reference or not, right? Universality is often the key to a great song and love is love. Which is fine, until you think that in your average straight male artist’s repertoire I bet you there’ll be – at some point – the odd reference to “woman”, “she” or “girl”. Or a music video with a mysterious female in it. Rather than gender references not mattering, it seems that in songs sung by gay men they’re actively avoided in favour of neutrality.

As a gay person you’re constantly surrounded by representations of heterosexual relationships: most music videos contain a male-female relationship. TV bed adverts (my pet hate) show exclusively heterosexual couples (gay people don’t need beds). In fact, virtually every TV advert that depicts a relationship shows a heterosexual one. Which in both pop music and TV advertising might seem fair enough, with approximately 90% of the population being straight. But it would be nice if there was even just the odd mainstream pop song sung by a man to a “he” or “man”. I think many gay men do want this: I remember the online debates about whether Boyzone’s first single after Stephen Gately came out included him singing “oh boy” (it didn’t, it was “oh baby”).

Scrolling through my iPod, I can find but one example in mainstream pop. Over the years Will Young did open up more about his sexuality, leading the pack in 2005 by singing about “Mr Fabulous” in his hit single “Switch It On”; and then spoils us even more with a brilliant music video that happens to be a gay spoof to Top Gun.

And it’s not all doom and gloom: I did also find a few examples of artists singing about gay experiences. The Feeling’s “Rose” is a fantastic metaphor for alternative sexuality; whilst the Scissor Sister’s “Take Your Mama” is a guide for coming out to your mum. Both are quite coded, but all the better for it because they offer numerous interpretations for the listener. But I still rack my brain, and my iPod, to find a simple love song sung by a man, to another man. Is it the last pop music taboo? Or is it because my musical encyclopaedia is too small (and if so please do prove me wrong in the comments section. Or if you agree, comment anyway. It helps create a “buzz” around my blog, which helps me prove to Literary Agent Flatmate that I should be published immediately).

Onwards, and Boyzone’s 2008 single “Better” deserves mention. This release truly did push boundaries: not through the song, which contains no gay references, but instead in the music video, the first ever by a Boyband to replace the ubiquitous mysterious female love interest with a mysterious male. Neutral, schmeutral.

What about women singing about women then? Well, recently there’s been an exciting proliferation of seemingly straight women singing pop songs specifically about lesbian inclinations. Katy Perry had a worldwide number one with “I Kissed A Girl” and Rihanna’s current single “Te Amo” is all about the unrequited love of another woman, which the music video shows, well, vividly. The amazing Gaga – pioneering as ever – takes it a (confusing) step further by pretending to be a gay man in her “Alejandro” video. And it’s not completely one sided: Franz Ferdinand’s “Michael” is all about, well, lust for Michael. And McFly – in-between removing their clothes for magazines – did a fantastic cover of “I Kissed A Girl”.

But it’s interesting that the majority of people in the mainstream singing about gay love are all, seemingly, well, straight.

Let’s end coming full circle to Joe Mcelderry and more specifically the last year’s X Factor that created him. Cast your minds back to week one, when contestant Danyl sang “I’m Telling You”, an unusual (but great) song choice very much associated with a female singer. Judge Dannii Minogue caused uproar when stating that openly bisexual Danyl need not have changed the song’s gender references from male to female. The media attacked Dannii, but she had a valid point – if sexuality doesn’t matter, why when you’re bisexual should you need to bother changing the gender to ensure the song is heterosexual? This wasn’t the only time gender references were changed in the series: another contestant, Lloyd, sang “I Kissed A Girl” but altered the line “hope my boyfriend don’t mind it” to “girlfriend”. Not only did this awkwardly change the meaning of the song from one of sexual experimentation to nonsensical infidelity, it just felt unnecessary in 2009.

At times the pop music world is at the forefront of gay equality, but it still has some way to go. Bring on the day Joe Mcelderry can launch his solo career with a worldwide number one called “I Kissed A Boy”. Oh and whilst we’re at it, the day when a footballer comes out.

*From the brilliant musical “Avenue Q”. Go see it. Incidentally, I should be a lyricist as the next line totally rhymes.