X Factor: Week 7 Results (George Michael & Wham week)
Nov 22nd
- Have I become desensitised or was the group performance of “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go” not utterly hideous? It had all the ingredients of being so, but somehow hovered around bearable.
- Taking my cynical hat off for one bullet point, I like that Reality TV has meant someone as unlikely as Susan Boyle now has a chance at a music career. Even if it also gave her a nervous breakdown. [EDIT: With further thought I'd disappointed. How much better would it have been if she'd have come back with a "Bleeding Love"/"Bad Boys" instead of that cover.]
- I think we’d have all preferred it if Mariah Carey had sung “All I Want For Christmas”. In fact I’d quite like it if she re-released “Fantasy/Dreamlover” (double A-side) every summer and “All I Want For Christmas” every December. Mariah had everything for her performance: the golden waterfall, the halo light, a gospel choir, indoor fireworks. It’s just a shame she doesn’t have the songs these days to match her voice. I refuse to acknowledge that she was miming and instead insist she can actually sing that well.
- Can I ever forgive her for the below remix (and video) though? Why is her eye sideways?
- My shocking mathematical formula was spot on! Sod my flawed instinct. I’m all Derren Brown.
- Why on earth did Twin Peaks choose “No Matter What” as their desperation song? Did they genuinely pick this? A song with singing and leaps between notes? Is it paranoid to suggest the Puppet Masters made them do this to ensure they’d go this time and save the show a small amount of credibility/believability/relevance?
- Having said that, Cheeky Chappy was quite out of tune too. And yet despite this, I still prefer him leaps and bounds to “very in tune” Joe and “normally in tune but occasionally wildly off tune” Danyl.
- In previous years, a winner has never been in the bottom 2 before. Which means, according to maths (which is my sole guide now), the winner is either Joe or Stacey. Please god let it be Stacey. Please. If Joe wins it will mean we’ve learnt nothing since 2001. Nothing! It would invalidate everything that the important victory of Will Young over Gareth Gates symbolised. Don’t let it happen people!!
- I now have a mint tea and am calm.
-I love Dannii. She’s getting rebellious against the Cowell. I think he might fire her, but still. I love her attitude.
X Factor: Week 5 Results (Movies)
Nov 8th
-Wrong wrong wrong. But as soon as the bottom 2 were revealed it was clear this would happen (I said as much on Twitter). There was no way Simon was going to remove the one act that is making millions tune in each week. His was a genius move. By keeping Jedward in over one of the talented acts, the public will now turn on them with a vengeance and absolutely demand they leave in the next few weeks. So they will go soon, and therefore not ruin Simon’s franchise, but when they go the public will be delighted as it will definitely be their time (unlike now, where many people would turn off if they went). Hence, Simon gets a few more weeks of them pulling in the viewers without them being a real threat to a winner. And as Simon Cowell will no doubt say, it’s the publics’ fault they didn’t go tonight, not his. (I wonder if this all went through Simon Cowell’s head really quickly).
- However, I do quite hope it’s Danyl vs. Jedward next week and the judges keep Jedward in revenge to Simon.
- Danni’s hair is different in each show, which is amazing. Cheryl’s, however, made her look slightly like a king charles spaniel
- The Group Song reached new peaks of awkwardness. Summed up when Sideshow Bob was made to sing the line “You PMS like a bitch, I should know”. This is taking gender swapping songs one step too far: IT ONLY MAKES SENSE IF A GIRL SINGS IT. Lucie is 1/3 KatyPerry (with 1/3 Sarah From Hollyoaks and 1/3 Alanis Morissette) so it was eerie to see her sing this song.
- The Black Eyed Pees performance was marred by being just a bit strange. The illusion was slightly ruined by Fergie desperately gripping onto what looked like the end of a gym rope in order to stay on her half moon and also the series of pullies and hooks that you could occasionally see being pulled in the background.
- I first thought Leona was miming the chorus but then you realize that’s her actual voice and that she can actually sing, unlike most of the other acts they’ve had sing live. (Quite excitingly, she’s just requested to follow me on Twitter, which makes her my third celebrity follower after Max and OB from Hollyoaks). *Heads off to listen to Bleeding Love on loop*
- Please just get rid of the judges’ decision if it’s just going to go to deadlock each week.
P.S. My attempt at Stacey:
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