X Factor 2010: Week Five (Live Show). American Anthems.
Nov 7th
Excitingly, I went out last night. This means that the Blog embarrassingly stumbles in with a post about 24 hours late, a bit like Chloe at Bootcamp. Incidentally, does everyone remember Chloe? Forget Gamu, just *think* how amazing Chloe would be on the live shows right now.
The problem is, I’ve found an episode of Come Dine With Me on More4 and one of the people on it is currently wearing a guitar on her head, which makes for pretty compulsive viewing by anyone’s standards. So this is a short post, cobbled quickly together by cutting and posting the thoughts I had on Twitter as I watched the show a couple of hours ago. Read the rest of this entry »
X Factor 2010: Week Four (Results Show). Halloween.
Oct 31st
19.45: Whilst we wait with anticipation for week four’s X Factor Result’s Show, let us all take this time to marvel at the pumpkin I carved earlier. In X Factor terms, I feel it’s closer to a Cher “Stay” (from now on the marker of something amazing) than a Belle Amie “Stand By Me” (less good). My equivalent of Simon Cowell (The Boyfriend) deemed it “good”, whereas my friends and family (my mum) texted “that’s amazing! wow” when I sent her the picture message. Read the rest of this entry »
X Factor 2010: week…what week are we on now? Oh yes, week four. Halloween.
Oct 30th
19.30: And we’re back for another session of ABNQ Live Blogging.* Today, I have been truly living and breathing the X Factor, spending most of my day giving 110% to the new X Factor wii game. It’s given me an enormous empathy with the contestants. Personally, I had an awful week four, attempting an ill-advised ropey performance of Mariah’s “Always Be My Baby”. Simon went as far as to say it was a disaster. But fear not contestants, I got through, dyed my hair blonde and came back in week five with a world class interpretation of Blondie’s “Call Me”. So there’s hope for you all.
19.33: Except for maybe you, Belle Amie. Sorry.
X Factor 2010: Week Three (Results Show). Guilty Pleasures.
Oct 24th
19.40: Hello Internet Following. This is my first ever attempt at Live Blogging the X Factor. I am fraught with the pressure of having to be funny without having 30 minutes to think.
X Factor 2010: Week Three (The Live Show). Guilty Pleasures.
Oct 23rd
We begin and – I’m sorry – why has no-one explained the Guilty Pleasure theme? How will the voters understand that when each act performs something abysmal that they are actually being self-reflectively ironic? It quickly becomes apparent that some of the contestants are being forced to do hideous, embarrassing songs and others are not. (If I was 14 years old and had access to a forum I would be creating a thread entitled “Sabotage!!!” right now.)
And poor Elton John. They are trying to make everyone hate him instead of Katie, in the way that they tried to blame Sting for everything that went wrong last year. Evil or not, Katie is by far the best thing about this show and in honour of Katie, I am quoting her (very amusing) fake Twitter alter ego’s thoughts on each and every performance in the blog tonight. Read the rest of this entry »
X Factor 2010: Week Three Preview. Guilty Pleasures
Oct 22nd
This week, I am so determined to get a book deal that I am going to blog THREE times. This is a desperate attempt to persuade my Literary Agent Flatmate that I would over-deliver as an author. I long to spend my days in an oversized hoody in Starbucks writing things on my apple mac. If I mention apple mac, and commit to mentioning apple mac once in every blog post, there is a high chance that Apple will send me a free mac through the post. Or that Cadburys will send me free chocolate. Cadburys. Read the rest of this entry »
X Factor 2010: Week Two (Results Show)
Oct 18th
This blog post was supposed to be about last night’s X Factor Results Show, but I now actually want to write about something else. As Diva Fever were being voted off, I was at first annoyed, and then disturbed, by the number of gay people tweeting comments like “Diva Fever give gay people a bad name”, “Those guys are an awful representation of gay people”, “Diva Fever make me ashamed”.
These statements get my back up. It’s not equality to say that some types of gay people are OK (i.e. straight acting men) and that camp gay people are not. Gay people should be able to be whoever they want to be: equally accepted for being as camp or as butch as they are. Read the rest of this entry »
X Factor 2010: Week Two (Part One). Musical Heroes.
Oct 17th
How wise is it to blog after approximately five hours sleep spread across nine days? I think very wise. My lack of sleep has resulted in a heightened level of insight about the X Factor. Plus, I must continue the momentum following last week’s – so good I feel a bit uncomfortable about them – guest blog posts by The Boyfriend and Literary Agent Flatmate.
I return from abroad to find that, excitingly, Simon Cowell and I are one mind. Either that or he’s been reading my Blog (could he be the person who repeatedly googles “what’s Joe McElderry worth?” and lands on my Blog?). Like me, he apparantly wants a Weird X Factor, full of oddballs. The general public on the other hand are stupid. Nicolo and FYD both had some unique charm and were quite good. Read the rest of this entry »
X Factor 2010: Week One (Part Three). Number Ones.
Oct 10th
Before Mark left to save the world, I said to him, ‘Please…you just have to give me this one chance. This is what I’ve dreamed of all my life. This is what it’s all been about. You won’t regret it. I HAVE ANCESTORS WHO DIED!’ And he said, ‘Literary Agent Flatmate, despite the fact that you’ve not once dangled so much as the signature advance of a book deal in my face, I will let you blog in my absence. But because you’ve not once dangled so much as the signature advance of a book deal in my face, you will blog the rubbish results show on Sunday night. The Boyfriend will blog the proper show.’ Read the rest of this entry »
X Factor 2010: Week One (Part Two)
Oct 10th
Right, after a sleepless night spent worrying and dreaming about this bloody blog, I’m back to finish what I started. But before I continue my assassination of the remaining performances, let’s take a moment to applaud that which was great about last night’s show, the adverts.
Advertisers have really pulled it out of the bag for this year’s show and are, at the moment, putting the contestants to shame. They’re really understood who’d be watching TV at that time and that musical ads will resonate (Do you like how I’m using lots of Cowell-isms to sound like I know what I’m talking about?). Read the rest of this entry »
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