No, as it turns out. Way back in January 2010, I wrote ten popular culture predictions for the year, only to completely forget that I’d ever done it. Luckily, I recorded them here for posterity and remembered all about it yesterday, due to this unexpected event. So, let’s belatedly review my predictions and see just how clever I am.

1. A Friends reunion film will be announced.

No, this was completely wrong. And Courtney Cox has now said it’s never going to happen. Madness, I say (AT LEAST DO A ONE OFF CHRISTMAS TV SPECIAL FOR GOD’S SAKE).

2. The current Sugababes (version 4) will implode.

Yes! This sort of happened. Well, they released an awkwardly delayed album and went on a bit of a break. Does that count as an implosion? They’re back this year, so we’ll see what happens. I’ll give myself half a point for this anyway as 2010 did feel like the beginning of the end.

Sadly, version 1 did not rise from their ashes. Siobahn Donaghy, my message to you is: please hurry up and release another album.

*Goes away to listen to “So You Say” on repeat whilst weeping quietly*.

3. Dannii will leave the X Factor and be replaced by Robbie Williams/Victoria Beckham/Eminem.

Well, no, this didn’t happen. But Dannii has (sadly) now left, along with Cheryl, much more surprisingly. And in the rumours of who would replace them, all three of the above names were mentioned. A quarter of a point here then.

4. Robbie and Take That will properly reform.

Yes, this definitely actually happened, producing a record breaking album, tour and one of Take That’s best ever singles in ”The Flood”.

5. Twitter will be replaced with an even more relevant social networking tool.

Twitter still rules.

6. Peter and Katie will get back together.

It was rumoured several times, but never happened.

7. A group will win the X Factor 2010.

One Direction got closer than a group’s ever got before (unless you count G4. Oh and JLS: they both came 2nd. And Same Difference who came third. Didn’t even Journey South come third?). So, no, this still hasn’t happened; though 2011′s got to be the year, surely? With three of the judges coming from groups?

8. Eternal will reform.

On reflection, this was possibly more wishful thinking than a prediction. But if I say it enough times I’ll surely will it into existence.

9. The ginger haired one from Girls Aloud will become the new Kate Bush, against all expectations.

Yes; sort of. It didn’t happen in 2010, but it’s very much happening in 2011, so I definitely deserve at least a quarter of a point for this one. Nicola’s sound is like a poppier Robyn, with a splash of Siobhan Donaghy, which is close enough to Kate Bush. In that it’s not really like her at all, but it is a bit quirky.

10. Something truly shocking will happen on Big Brother.

The most shocking thing about Big Brother 2011 was that it was a triumph: recapturing some of the magic it had in its early days, when it was more about interesting(ish) people and their interactions, rather than extreme tasks. So half a point here too.

In total, I got 2.5 out of 10, which I wouldn’t say is a resounding success, especially as some of the above scoring is highly dubious. *Abandons all plans to become a TV psychic*.

Please do share your thoughts on the above, plus any predictions you have for 2011 in the comments below.

I am spending my Saturday waiting for Doctor Who. I haven’t experienced this sort of TV anticipation since I was nine and used to spend my Saturdays waiting for Gladiators; then watching and recording Gladiators; then re-watching Gladiators; and then, finally, unsuccessfully trying to recreate Gladiators in my living room.

This is therefore unexpected.

Since 2005, I’d dipped in and out of the new series and enjoyed specific episodes (those amazing weeping angel statues, the one where Rose met her father, any episode including John Barrowman). But I never found myself watching regularly. Fast forward to 2011 and I’ve become the kind of mega-fan who finds himself on internet forums at 1am avidly reading threads entitled “I’VE WORKED OUT WHO RIVER SONG IS BY WATCHING SERIES 3 BACKWARDS!!!”.

What has caused this transformation? Here are 10 reasons. And a massive disclaimer.*

*I am new to Doctor Who. The things I write are almost certainly ignorant and flawed. I have learnt this by the horrified reaction The Boyfriend has had to some of my comments and theories. I’m also not saying that Doctor Who has got better; but simply that I, personally, very much in my own opinion, am enjoying the direction the show’s taking with the 11th Doctor. Basically, please don’t send me internet hate mail.

1. Mad, impossible Amy Pond. Basically, I love Amy Pond. I like that Amy grew up odd and misunderstood and always connected to the Doctor, like she was destined to be his companion. I like that she’s rebellious and witty and most importantly seems an equal to the Doctor. And I love her ginger hair and the fact that her husband has taken her maiden name.

2. Matt Smith. I also love Matt Smith, although not as much as I love Amy Pond. I like the 11th Doctor’s geeky awkwardness and the fact he seems more alien-like than previous Doctors. And the occasional moments of OTT corniness that sometimes jarred with previous Doctors are gone (don’t shoot me fans of Tennant and Ecclestone, I think it was more to do with the writing than their performances).

3. The current timey-wimey season. Moffat’s made it all overarching plots with massive twists, riddles and psychological fear. Everything means something. Episodes you think aren’t telling you anything significant (like the two about the gangers) are all part of an overarching plot around Amy’s abduction. I spend my weekends googling questions like “when was Amy abducted?”; “who is the regenerating astronaut child?”, “what is the throw away line from the last series which actually is the most important thing ever said?” etc, etc. This has made me a much more well-rounded person.

Let’s not discuss the rubbish Pirate episode.

4. The Villains. We seem to be moving away from the paper-mache robots trying to take over the world. My favourite villains from previous episodes always relied more on imagination than prosthetics: the angel statues and the gas mask children being my two stand outs. This series the villains have been more psychological than plastic: the Silence are more of a concept than a monster. And the other “villains” are all in someway human and much more sinister for it: the astronaut suit, the eye-patch lady, the gangers (until Jennifer turned into a silly snake/dog).

5. River Song. I love how she says “spoilers” in a meta-textual manner. And I especially love annoying The Boyfriend with theories like “Do you think River Song is actually the Doctor?”; or “Is she actually Amy? I.e. the pond turns into a river. Yes, that definitely must be right”.

6. The Gay normalisation. Almost every episode includes a gay reference, which I like to think is subtly teaching children all about diversity. Yes, this has been in the new Doctor Who since 2005, but I’ve only recently become aware of it. Look below! It’s Russell Tovey and John Barrowman.

7. The Doctor’s Wife. Even though I didn’t understand 97% of this episode at the time, the concept of the Tardis becoming human, flirting with the Doctor and then tragically dying, was genius.

8. Amy’s Choice. I loved this episode from last series, with two parallel realities and one big decision about which was real. Again, I’m all about the psychological mind confusion. Plus it reminded me of Being Human, which is definitely the best show currently on tele, with it’s perfect combination of the domestic and supernatural. This is where I became properly hooked.

9. The (non) romance. It’s refreshing that the romance of the show is no longer between the Doctor and his companion but instead is between a married couple. Matt Smith is much more interesting as asexual: his first reaction to Amy kissing him being “you’re human!”. And his relationship with Amy seems deeper because it’s not about romance. Like Mr Moffat says: “Want to find the most dangerous place in the universe? Easy. Harm a hair on Amy’s head and just wait”.

10. I love Amy Pond.

Right, that filled some time. Less than an hour left.

Accidentally written a poem that reveals your sexuality to both yourself and others? Don’t worry, it’s happened to us all.

Following my post defending Kurt from Glee, Literary Agent Flatmate has implied that a series of posts on famous gay characters from TV and film could result in a significant book deal, with a healthy advance. And so here I immediately go, with gay TV character number two.

And where better to start than with one of the most ground-breaking gay characters in TV history? Exactly, it’s Jack McPhee from Dawson’s Creek.

It wasn’t just the fact that 16 year old Jack was actually being played by a 35 year old man that made him ground-breaking.* If it was, we’d need essays on most/all Dawson’s Creek characters. No, Jack broke new territory for several, more important, reasons:

1. Jack was one of the first depictions of a gay teenager working through their sexuality on a primetime TV show aimed at a teenage audience. There are three points here.

4. Jack had the most inventive coming out story: seemingly both coming out to himself and his school via a poem he writes in creative writing class. Despite this depiction of “truth becoming apparent through art” sounding inescapably ridiculous on paper, on screen it somehow came across as sensitive, painful and strangely realistic. The real coming out came an episode later with the excellent “’You are not gay!’ ‘Yes I am!’” scene between Jack and his Dad in the kitchen. Kerr Smith does some excellent from-the-belly crying in this scene, which makes you wonder why he had to partake in “Final Destination”.

5. Jack’s boy-next-door character was well-rounded: at times sensitive, artistic, shy, witty, tormented by not being the son his father wanted, football coach, and alcohol dependent when trying to be a frat jock at university. He didn’t neatly fit into any stereotype and spends most of the time trying to come to terms with feeling a bit different. We see him encounter a range of subtle and not so subtle homophobia in his family, school, town and at university. But we also see acceptance from key characters: most noticeably Grams, who showed us all how devout Christianity need not make you homophobic.

6. Most importantly, Jack pushed boundaries in that he delivered the first gay kiss on US network TV. I can only find this scene dubbed in Spanish, but let’s analyse anyway. Pluses: it’s quite a good kiss, more than a peck, and there’s some nice hands around the neck action. Minuses: A bit short. Overall, 6/10.

Whilst Jack was only allowed approximately one kiss per season, for the time this was pretty breakthrough.

7. What’s more, Jack wasn’t portrayed as asexual – throughout the show he slowly develops a love life and several boyfriends – although I don’t remember discussions into his sex life/virginity going anywhere as far as they did with other heterosexual characters (correct me if I’m wrong anyone who watched the later seasons consistently; I lost things a bit at the Uni years). Whilst discussions of other characters’ “first times” dominated whole seasons, allegedly according to the writers we were supposed to infer that Jack and his boyfriend Toby had sex over the Summer during the season break, never to be mentioned in the actual programme. By season six we did have clear references to Jack having a series of one night stands so at least we know by then that he was having a sex life.

This probably wasn’t a fault with the writers, but more to do with what they were able to push through a network pre Queer as Folk. Compare now to equivalent teen drama Glee, where the man gay male character wants to stay safely asexual but is being made to discuss the practicalities of safe gay sex with his Dad.

8. With Jack’s family unit falling apart, he showed us how to create your own post-modern urban family with Jen and Grams. In the final ever episode, Jack takes alternative family models to the next stage: bringing up Jen’s daughter with Pacey’s brother.

9. And finally, Jack was good-looking and so became a rare legitimate, obtainable pin up for gay male teenagers (obtainable in as much as he was actually straight and you were unlikely to ever meet him, and even if you met him, it was unlikely you would ever be able to develop a relationship with him, as he was actually straight, not to mention a host of other reasons, etc.).

10. He ends the whole show kissing Pacey’s brother, which is great, isn’t it? (I’M RUNNING OUT OF REASONS).

<Goes away to actually watch Seasons 4-6; realises they are hour-long shows and hasn’t got the time; quickly watches Jack’s key scenes via YouTube; confirms everything written above>

So please share your thoughts on Jack below. Iconic character or a bit frustrating? Remember each comment is a step towards my book deal and therefore a new life for me spent obsessively tracking the sales progress of my book on Amazon.

*He was actually 26.

I thought long and hard about how best to return to the blogging scene. Only this morning, I walked past Rachel Stevens (or was she sitting there, waiting for me to come by? It’s possible) and thought to myself, ‘Yes. I’m totally ready to start almost-but-not-quite liveblogging Strictly Come Dancing.’ Alas for me but even more so for you, SCD is still some way off (though not as way off as Series 3 of Miranda: I occasionally wake up in a cold sweat convinced that it won’t return at all. 2012? TWO THOUSAND AND WHAT I CALL TWELVE?!). And so I turn to a subject just as close to my heart: the musical magnificence and boyish brilliance of JLS. By the end of this post, my one hope is that you too will put your hands up (and then down again, because you need to comment on the post pronto. Blog comments are like happy-birthday messages on Facebook: the only true measures of happiness).

Reason 1: They’re not One Direction. I think we can all admit that we didn’t realise quite how much we loved JLS until the soul-destroying rise  of One Direction on last year’s X Factor. You know it’s true. One Direction are the antiChristJLS. JLS came together because Oritse wanted to raise money to find a cure for his mother’s multiple sclerosis. I imagine Simon Cowell’s reasons for fusing four (three? I lose count) middle-class Bieber boys and a token ethnic one into the slick chemistry-vacuum that is One Direction were fairly similar.

Compare and contrast: watch?v=4Vgtzs0qMYc vs watch?v=lYi1taWoRCo

Reason 2: They’re aware of their place in history. When JLS lost to Alexandra in the final and were asked how they felt, they took the standard response of ‘it’s been an amazing journey’ and gave it a wholly unexpected twist by comparing themselves to recent president-elect Barack Obama*, adding that ’because of us, others can have hope.’ Yes they can, JLS, yes they can.

*If being leader of the free world doesn’t work out, Obama could easily be the fifth member of JLS. The man has got some moves and grooves: watch?v=x1-JZ4NgyIM

Reason 3: They’re all about the colour-coordination. I recently asked my flatmates – one of whom has seen Boyzone in concert ‘nine, ten times maybe’; the other of whom is Mark - to name the members of Westlife. Try it yourself, reader. It’s actually impossible. Despite being (cue booming X Factor voice) The Most Successful Boy Band Of The Last Decade with 44 Million Sales Worldwide, Westlife are almost a complete blank. So I applaud and love JLS for introducing at a very early stage the concept of matching their members to individual colours, as if – even then – they were afraid of this same sad oblivious fate befalling them (not that it EVER will while I’m around: Aston (blue), Marvin (green), JB (yellow) and Oritse (red) ).

C'est chic.

Reason 4: They’re very good boys. Yes, where there’s colour coordination, there’s excellent merchandising. And I think we all know what merchandising I’m talking about.

Reason 5: They’re also bad boys. The Alexandra/JLS medley was X Factor’s finest hour: fact. Words cannot do it justice, so just watch the sparks of pop perfection fly: watch?v=NdgXMfLobJA (and before you say anything, Oritse’s bit was meant to sound like that: it’s soulful. Pure coincidence that his mike seems to switch itself off immediately afterwards)

Reason 6: They love a bit of literal choreography. Need to express via dance the poetic notion of a heart that won’t beat again? Wondering how to convey through mime the impossibility of eating or sleeping? How to capture in mere physical gesture the invitation to get ‘up’ on one? Never be afraid of literal choreography, young boy bander: it’s your friend. That’s the whole point of lyrics like ‘everybody in love, go on put your hands up’ – which is not to be confused with ‘everybody everywhere throw your hands in the air’ being from a different song entirely.

Reason 7: They have impeccable taste in musical theatre. Second albums are notoriously difficult, and some might say JLS made it even harder on themselves when they chose to lead theirs with a single that sampled the musical to end all musicals, ‘The Sound of Music’. But I say: they took a classic, they made it their own – and I don’t doubt that it regularly gets airplay in the alpine retreat of Dame Julie herself.

Reason 8: They try really hard to make hats cool. Sweet. Doomed, but sweet.

Top Hats.

Reason 9: They restored Gordon Brown to the bosom of the nation’s affections. I love Gordon Brown like I love all flawed Shakespearean villains. I damn near cried when, rejected by the entire nation for the drippy likes of Clegg and Cameron (for the love of GOD), he gave his brave little farewell speech (“I have been privileged to learn much about the very best in human nature and a fair amount too about its frailties, including my own” – how much more Shakespearean can one man and his speech-writing team get?!) and then led his family out of Downing Street to a new life in total obscurity/Fife. So when JLS took time out from their pop-tastic lives to share an affectionate fist-pump with Gord and invite him down the pub during their Comic Relief sketch, my joy was unconfined. JLS are, in many ways, the Princess Diana of the 21st century.

Reason 10: REASON TEN? I’m on reason ten already and yet I’ve barely begun. We haven’t even discussed the cheery catchiness of their songs; the kinetic wonder of Aston’s backflipping; the sheer hotness of Marvin; the intricacies of JB’s head; their whole-hearted embrace of old-fashioned boy-band tropes; their endearing awkwardness when paired up with totally age-inappropriate love interests in the Everybody in Love video; the recent revelation that they love to warm up with a spot of Eurovision…so to finish, I need to somehow sum up the joyful quintessence of JLS. But how? But how? BUT HOW?!

Here’s how:  watch?v=NhVLSHsDV_c

Which I totally do, because “Being Human” is by far the best show currently on tele. In the last 12 months I have become a super-fan. If I’m not careful the only logical next step is to start writing fan fiction, which no one wants.

Once I had stopped blubbing on the sofa following the season 3 finale, in true geekdom I began frantically googling to find answers and analysis to the many hypothetical questions I had. I wanted amazing trivia, things like “did anyone else notice that on the Mitchell’s left hand he had the word “blah blah” written in biro, which harks back to series 2 episode 4, revealing this massive subtext which changes everything?”, etc, etc. 

Sadly, aside from the brilliant bbc website, I couldn’t find much/enough. In an attempt to get my fix – and in the hope I can attract other fans here – below are some discussion points of my own.* Like a virtual book club, but without the arguing about which book to read and/or no one turning up (although the latter could still technically happen).

1. Firstly, is this the best “Being Human” scene ever? Annie – who is dead – comforting George following the death of his dad.

2. Or is it this: the end of the series one, with Annie’s door to the afterlife finally appearing? The perfect mixture of the domestic and supernatural. I think it’s definitely this.

3. Or – finally – is it this: George and Annie trying to rescue Mitchell from the Vampire HQ?

4. Onto the afterlife. In series 2, “the people on the other side” are continually trying to force Annie through a door to the afterlife. (Incidentally, how brilliant is the portrayal of purgatory as an awful bureaucratic process of waiting rooms and form filling? And isn’t the concept of the men with ropes and sticks the most simple but petrifying Wicker Man-esque image ever?)  However, in series 3 Annie gets out twice: both times pretty easily – particularly the second time where she seems to be able to go as she pleases. Or at least as Lia pleases (incidentally, why has she got so much control?). Is this a slight slip on the writers’ part, or is this all pointing towards the final statements of season 3, that Annie is more powerful than she imagines?  Has anyone else every defied death’s door so many times? Please explore this more in season 4, Being Human writers.

5. Whilst we’re on the afterlife, why is Lia’s version of purgatory so different to Annie’s? Lia’s lonely bedroom was nothing compared to Annie’s train station waiting room. Are the differing portrayals of the afterlife a brilliant ploy by the writers to not let us ever fully grasp it; or a sign that purgatory/heaven/hell is partly what each individual makes it; or am I over analysing?

6. Was Lia called Lia as it sounds like Liar, linking to her false prophesy?

7. What happens when a vampire dies? Do they get a door (it seemed not) and do they go to Purgatory (it would seem so, as Mitchell had his own version of Purgatory when he went to rescue Annie)? If so, could Annie go find Mitchell in series 4? Yes, yes, I know the writers have confirmed that Mitchell won’t be coming back. But hypothetically do we think this could this happen?

8. What do we all think of the decision to end series 3 by destroying the whole premise of the show? The show has been about three “supposed monsters” proving their humanity. But it ends with Mitchell despairing that he’ll never be clean, with his three closest friends in agreement, to the point where they all decide it’s better that he is dead, for both the world and him. The big suggestion here is that Vampires can never live humanely as part of the world. Brutal, eh, but a brave move by the writers, unafraid to pull apart the foundations of the show – and also make a moment of defeat feel like a tragic triumph.

9. On that note, what would we like for season 4? Could Lia come back? Or Adam from the surprisingly good “Becoming Human”? Or Nancy, the policewoman who I suspect was converted by Herrick? Could the three main characters help her through her struggle post-conversion? The show seems to be on a trajectory: the “threat” in each season has become bigger and more damaging. Will season 4 be a mammoth battle from day one between the main characters and the old vampires, changing the whole domestic premise of the show? The ending hinted so. I sort of like the idea of the show shifting trajectory completely, now that so much has been torn apart.

10. The general critical consensus was that season 2 was the weakest series: does anyone else think, like me, that it was actually the best? Especially the finale. How can the below not be amazing?

That is all.

Every year, me and my friends have a fake Christmas day about a week before Christmas. It’s pretty much exactly like  Wham’s Last Christmas video. Last year, I was in charge of entertainment and took this opportunity to pioneer an exciting new game, called Share A Shocking Revelation. One by one we went round the table and admitted something shocking (“I hate Disney”; “I’ve been to 11 Boyzone concerts”; “I have a fear of walking over three drains in a row”) and we all felt much better for getting it out in the open. So, Internet Following, shall we play? I’ll start – with 10 revelations:

1. I hate cartoons.

 According to my mum, as a child I refused to watch cartoons “because they are not real”. This has continued into adulthood where I still believe there is nothing worse than the bit in Mary Poppins when it becomes a cartoon. Why couldn’t they have got a load of real animals and made it look like they were singing?

2. I don’t think Ross and Rachel should have ended up together in Friends.

I love Friends, but the last episode was pretty rubbish. Made all the worse by the fact that at this point in the series Ross had become a caricature of himself and him and Rachel hadn’t bothered dating for at least six seasons. So when they suddenly got together at the end of the last episode it just didn’t feel real. Like cartoons.

3. I think Diana Vickers is the best thing to have come out of the X Factor.

Yes, better than Leona. I know, I know, she can’t sing as well but I love her quirky pop and even the claw. Watch, for example, this amazing video where she acts out the whole of her song with the claw, including being stabbed by an arrow just before each chorus.

Does it matter that I only understand three words in the song? No.

4. I think Build Me Up Buttercup is the worst song of all time.

Yes, worse even than Chumbawumba’s “Tubthumping”. There’s something about “Build Me Up Buttercup” that sums up every rubbish night out I had at university spent in a club I didn’t really want to be in, dancing to rubbish music with groups of people alternating between inappropriately snogging each other and crying. Those introductory bars are enough to make me shudder.

5. I spent 26 years of my life believing that Wolves were not real.

When during an important work meeting I announced that wolves weren’t real, but were in fact mythical beasts, I genuinely believed it.  

6. If it had been an Andy Murray & Andy Roddick Wimbledon final, I would have supported Roddick.

Shocking, I know and completely unpatriotic. But it’s very much my rule in sport that everyone should win at least once and Federer was a bit selfish last year when he beat Roddick when he’d already won five times before. So I felt it was Roddick’s year. Plus Roddick has really nice eyes.

7. I think ice-cream is too cold.

I also think generally it’s a waste of time. Bring me a bowl of custard instead any day.

8. I often secretly watch Price Drop TV.

I find these programmes sickly addictive and am getting increasingly persuaded to nearly buy things.  Like these amazing vacuum-suction storage bags I saw on the other night. They look amazing! Really good value too.

9. I once went to a Boyzone concert (just to support the friend who’s been 11 times) and got so drunk I was sick on the tube on the way home.

In my defence, the tickets were free and we had a free box at the O2. There is nothing to excuse the vomiting on the tube or the fact that I know all the actions to “A Different Beat” (a song that incomprehensibly rhymes “Africa” with “Niagara”).

10. I find Derren Brown attractive  

Maybe everyone does and that confusing TV show he did where he predicted the lottery results was actually full of subliminal message around his attractiveness?  Maybe.

There we go Internet Following. Now please share some of yours. So that I feel less humiliated.

Throughout 2009 I was mostly ignoring Lady Gaga. “Just Dance” and “Poker Face” didn’t do much for me. I would go so far to say that I thought she was a vessel for slightly soulless but catchy dance/R&B/pop songs. But in 2010 this has all changed. In my house there’s even been whispers that she could be the “new Beyonce” (a genuine honour). And here is why:

1. The Bad Romance video. Why is she stuck in a suitcase? Why do her and her friends think they are cats? Why is she so keen to stay in the bath? Why is she now dressed as a lobster? Why is she now dragging a bear on her back? Does she know that a rat has climbed onto her head? Why are her eyes so big? Why does her face look different in every single shot? So. Many. Fascinating. Questions. The song itself is also brilliant. I am working hard to memorize the “rah-rah ah-ah-ah, roma roma-ma, ga-ga oh-la-la” bit. Much to my housemates’ delight.

 
Even better: if you fancy recreating the video at home, here’s how (this is absolutely brilliant):

2. For no apparent reason, half way through Lady Gaga’s performance of “Paparazzi” at the VMAs last year fake blood started gushing suddenly from her rib cage. She staggered around the stage and found a rope. She then attached herself to this rope, ascended with blood smeared across her face, wailed frantically and a halo appeared behind her.

3. For no apparent reason, in Lady Gaga’s 2009 X Factor performance she decided to be a bat in a bath, surrounded by people who looked dead and angry but think they are cats. Lady Gaga, realizing she’s the only bat amongst a lot of cats, quickly tries to blend in by awkwardly ditching the bat arms and also pretending she’s a cat. It seems to work. She then sits on a giant fake loo and plays the piano for a bit. The cat-people seem drawn to this and wiggle their hips around her.  She then gets back into the bath: the cat people seem less happy with this and push her to the edge of the bath.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grKF_AcmYdc

(Apparently she wanted lambs on stage with her. God knows what she would have done with them. I hate Simon Cowell for telling her no).

In a quiet point during a Sunday afternoon Come Dine With Me marathon, my (Highly Effective) Corporate Flatmate and I discussed predictions for our friends in 2010. Whilst those predictions probably would be of interest to my Internet Following (which is mostly comprised of these friends) I have decided instead to publish 10 popular culture predictions for 2010. The aim is that, when each of these come true, I will be heralded as the Voice of Popular Culture and quickly approached by the Guardian to live blog for them.

So here we go:

1. A Friends reunion film will be announced.

After the success of Sex And The City: The Movie, *surely* the cast will realize there’s money in a movie? Friends is still loved (just ask E4) and time is running out. (PS. I still get a point if there is a one-off TV special).

2. The current Sugababes (version 4) will implode.

Due to the lack of a coherent identity. Version 1 will rise from their ashes.

3. Dannii will leave the X Factor and be replaced by Robbie Williams/Victoria Beckham/Eminem.

There was definitely something of the “I know I’ll probably be fired next year so I’m going to be occasionally subversive” about Dannii Minogue on the X Factor this year.

4. Robbie and Take That will properly reform.

At least for a one off charity single.

5. Twitter will be replaced with an even more relevant social networking tool.

Well, Facebook was trumped this year by Twitter: what comes around goes around.

6. Peter and Katie will get back together. And then split up again.

There will be an ITV2 show documenting every step of this process.

7. A group will win the X Factor 2010.

X Factor has shown it can produce successful female winners (Leona, Alexandra) and that it usually doesn’t produce successful male winners (Steve, Leon, Shayne, Joe). Following JLS, 2010 is the year for the show to prove that a group can win. Just so something new happens.

8. Eternal will reform.

Surely it is their year? Who can not love a band that incorporated three plus key changes into one song?

9. The ginger haired one from Girls Aloud will become the new Kate Bush, against all expectations.

Her awkward self-consciousness is the most interesting thing about Girls Aloud videos (after seven years she still looks embarrassed to be a popstar). Just imagine the fascinating solo career.

10. Something truly shocking will happen on Big Brother.

As it’s the final show, the Producers will not give a monkeys and will engineer something *truly* shocking. I predict a “housemates have 1 minute to decide as a group which other housemate to eat” task. Or maybe “one of the housemates is actually a cat” shocker.

So there we go. Please do add your own predictions below.